kearney hub suggests Ideas for new specialty license plates in nebraska - michael towner

A License plate says a great deal about the vehicle that carries it around. Thanks to the Nebraska Legislature, your license plate can proclaim your affinity to corn, your love of the Huskers and even your desire to make friends with a mountain lion.

In April the Legislature voted to allow a license plate urging other motorists to “Choose Life.” To most license plate observers, we have all the opinions, stances and positions covered by specialty license plates with the 20-odd designs available to motorists. While that may seem like a large number, consider that Texas offers 150 different plates. Obviously, Nebraska needs to beat the bushes for a few new ways for motorists to express themselves. Obviously.

Since I’m an idea guy, here are a few suggestions for Nebraska specialty plates:
GOTH LICENSE PLATE
This plate features a black background, black numbers and a black logo that states: “Goth Nebraska, we’re more than just black lipstick.” Granted, our state includes merely a handful of citizens who wear only black and, granted, most of them range in age from 13-15, but this idea just might catch on with certain farmers and truck drivers who want to express themselves.
HOARDERS LICENSE PLATE
“Hoarders come in all walks of life,” this license plate honors those who struggle with the affliction on a daily basis. Comes with five extra plates and a box of kitchen items from a yard sale.
ROCK LICENSE PLATE
Inscribed with the quote “For me, the music stopped in 1972,” this license plate honors classic rock with a graphic of a Gibson Flying V guitar, just like the one Pete Townsend smashed into his amplifier shortly before disco arrived.
HMMM PLATE
For drivers who like to adorn their vehicles with plastic replicas of certain body parts from male cattle, this specialty license plate includes an arrow pointing to the stuff hanging from the trailer hitch. The plate brags, in all caps, an expression that a family newspaper usually avoids. Enough said.
LOUZY SPELERS PLATE
Filled with random letters, why not flaunt your lack of knowledge when it comes to spelling and grammar with a plate that declares, “Lousy spellers of Nebraska untie.” The license plate also ends with a preposition, preferably “where are you at?”
COLLEGE FAILURES SPECIALTY LICENSE PLATE
This plate honors the hardy individuals who returned to their roots, coming home to live with their parents after college. The “Basement Dwellers” plate fights the shame they often feel while dealing with free internet, snacks, cable and air conditioning.
INDECISIVE SPECIALTY LICENSE PLATE
For the mathematically challenged, this specialty plate includes only doodles and colors, along with, “A balanced checkbook is the sign of a sick mind.” The plate comes with a package of erasable markers and a clean rag.
SHAG CARPET LICENSE PLATE
Made of the very same stuff it honors, the shag carpet license plate comes in two colors: Rust Orange and Blazing Red. The numbers, also consisting of shag carpeting, stand out proudly with contrasting colors. Owners of these plates should avoid automatic car washes.
FIREWORK SAFETY MY EYE SPECIALTY LICENSE PLATE
“Firework safety, my eye!” this attractive specialty plate proclaims. Celebrating the desire to watch something explode, this one comes with a short fuse extending out from the bottom of the plate and a package of cherry bombs.
Rick Brown is a Hub staff writer who mostly admires specialty dinner plates

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